Breaking Cycles, Reclaiming Rituals: Self-Care Through the Lens of ABA and Trauma Healing

By Claudia Barton, BCBA, LBA, CTP

For many of us, the idea of self-care feels distant—like something reserved for others, for “better” days, or for lives less burdened. And yet, deep down, we crave it. We want to feel at ease in our own bodies. We want to show up for our loved ones from a place of wholeness, not depletion. We want to believe that we are worthy of softness, of care, of peace.

But here’s the truth: many of us were never taught how.

Childhood trauma doesn’t just shape our memories—it shapes our behavior.
The nervous system learns early. Whether it’s through emotional neglect, unrealistic expectations, abuse, or witnessing dysfunction in our homes, our young brains adapt. We learn to survive by staying small, staying quiet, staying vigilant. We learn to dismiss our needs. We internalize that love must be earned, rest is a reward, and self-investment is selfish.

As adults, these learned behaviors show up in subtle but damaging ways:

  • Guilt when spending money on yourself.

  • Resistance to rest, even when exhausted.

  • Difficulty receiving compliments, love, or help.

  • Believing your worth is tied to productivity or how useful you are to others.

Behavior is not random—it’s learned, reinforced, and shaped by our environments.
As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and Certified Trauma Professional, I view healing through the lens of both science and compassion. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) helps us understand that these behavioral patterns—though once protective—can be unlearned and replaced.

Self-care is not indulgence. It’s reconditioning. It’s behavior change. It’s generational healing.
When we consistently create sensory-informed rituals—like applying a calming balm, taking 10 minutes to journal, or misting ourselves with an aromatic spray—we are sending signals of safety to the brain. Over time, the nervous system begins to relax, trust, and receive.

These daily rituals become behavioral anchors. They help:

  • Reduce reactivity

  • Build emotional resilience

  • Reinforce new, self-affirming patterns

  • Demonstrate self-love to our children through modeled behavior

We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose to become.

And so, we begin.
By lighting a candle.
By touching our skin with care.
By pausing to take a breath before the next task.
By choosing ourselves, again and again.

This is what behavioral wellness looks like. This is what healing through ABA can support.

You are worthy. You are capable. And you are allowed to feel good in your body.

Want to take the first step?
Explore our handmade, behaviorally-informed skincare and self-care tools designed to help you build consistent rituals and sensory regulation.
 Shop now at bartonbhw.com

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The Science Behind Health & Wellness

Why behavior matters. Why healing is possible. Why small steps work.

When we think of health and wellness, we often think of the body — nutrition, sleep, hydration, movement. But at the core of every lasting change is something deeper: behavior.

As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and Certified Trauma Professional (CTP), I view health and wellness through a scientific and compassionate lens. I don’t just ask what someone is doing — I ask why.

That’s where the real healing starts.

Why Behavior Matters in Wellness

Every time you choose to care for yourself — by applying a salve, setting down your phone, or pausing to breathe — you’re engaging in a behavior. These actions might seem small, but over time, they shape patterns. Patterns become habits. Habits become a lifestyle.

Behavior analysis teaches us that change doesn’t happen all at once — it happens one moment at a time, with reinforcement, consistency, and care.

The Nervous System & Trauma-Informed Support

For many of us, especially those with trauma histories, even the simplest self-care routines can feel overwhelming or unfamiliar. That’s why trauma-informed care matters. It reminds us that healing isn’t just about doing more — it’s about feeling safe enough to begin.

Behavioral wellness honors the body’s signals, works with the nervous system, and builds safety through predictable, gentle routines. When we approach wellness with compassion and structure, we help the body and mind slowly unlearn survival and relearn connection.

The Foundation of Behavior-Based Wellness

In behavior science, we use tools like:

  • Reinforcement to encourage healthy habits (rewarding what we want to see more of)
  • Prompting and shaping to help build routines gradually
  • Environmental design to make wellness easier and more accessible
  • Data and reflection to track what’s working — and why

These aren’t just clinical strategies. They can show up in your daily life as:

  • A lavender roller next to your bed to signal rest
  • A gentle balm you use after brushing your teeth to mark the end of your day
  • A sensory spray that helps your child transition more smoothly
  • A mantra you whisper each morning as a private moment of grounding

Why This Matters

Because true wellness isn't about extremes.
It’s about repeatable, nourishing actions that help you feel more like yourself.

And the science is clear: when we build wellness routines around behavior, not pressure, we make healing more accessible — for children, for parents, for everyone.

This is the foundation of my work and the intention behind every product I create. I want to help you feel safe in your routines, confident in your care, and connected to the deeper why behind the choices you make.

Mini Mantra:

“Small acts. Safe patterns. Lasting change.”

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